How to avoid the Pitfalls of Too Good to Be True Characters in Fiction

Did you happen to write a character who seems unbelievably perfect? You know, someone who makes all the right choices, doesn't make mistakes, and solves every problem they face without training? In creative writing this is often referred to as a Mary Sue.

Who is Mary Sue?

The Mary Sue is a common character archetype in fiction, usually depicted as a young woman who shines in every aspect, has multiple talents (all useful throughout the story), is conventionally attractive, and embodies moral goodness without any notable weaknesses or flaws. If you're already yawning, it's because the Mary Sue is boring. But did you know the term originates from fanfiction?

Some say a Mary Sue character is an idealized self-insertion of the author, showcasing their strengths (real or desired) but without any flaws.

The Mary Sue character has gained a negative connotation in reader communities as a poorly developed character, too perfect and lacking in realism to be interesting.

Based on fans’ opinions, opinions, here are a few characters commonly perceived as Mary Sue but keep in mind this is a matter of personal interpretation.

• Bella Swan from Twilight: Readers criticize Bella for being too passive, naïve, and always depending on Edward Cullen. She is also portrayed as incredibly beautiful (but awkward and unaware of her beauty) and admired by everyone around her.
• Lucy Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia: Even though Lucy is well-liked, readers may find her too perfect, always doing the right thing and never facing serious challenges.
• Ana Steele from Fifty Shades of Grey: Ana gets labelled as a Mary Sue because she went from a naïve student to a sophisticated businesswoman and dominant partner in the blink of an eye.

Why flawless characters don’t work

While such ideal characters may seem appealing at first glance, they don’t resonate with readers. Here’s why:

• They’re unrelatable: Every time the readers see how perfect your character’s life is all the time, they’ll roll their eyes. Seeing flawless characters can be off-putting, as we all have flaws.
• They lack dimension: What a perfect character lacks is depth and layers. If a character has no challenges or makes no mistakes, there’s no room for growth or development. The result is a dull flat character.
• Reader Disengagement: Readers won’t care about a character they can’t relate to. If a character is too perfect, they can be one-dimensional and uninteresting.

How to spot a Mary Sue in your writing

Now you might be wondering, is my character a Mary Sue?

I know from experience that it’s hard to judge your own writing objectively. It’s only natural because you’re too close and protective of your project. So if you’re not sure your character risks being catalogued as a Mary Sue, here’s what you should pay attention to:

• Multi-talented. Is your character good at everything? Mary Sues often possesses an unusual level of talent in multiple fields, with no apparent effort or training. It can make them seem too powerful and unrealistic (unless your character is a superhero). No one is good at everything.
• She’s the centre of the universe. The Mary Sue character has a mysterious ability to attract, impress, or command respect from the other characters in the story. If she’s the main character, it’s normal to have more page time, but that doesn’t mean that everyone will like her, agree with her and follow her word as gospel.
• Special Treatment. The character gets special treatment, privileges, or authority that is disproportionate to their role or experience.
• She’s beautiful but doesn’t know it. There is nothing wrong with beauty, but don’t make this her defining feature. And if she has a mirror, she knows it.
• No consequences. A Mary Sue character just gets away with any wrongdoing, facing no consequences at all, and the story moves on swiftly from their mistakes.
• Gratuitous Admiration. Other characters may describe the Mary Sue as selfless, kind, brave, or virtuous, despite evidence to the contrary. This can create a mismatch between reputation and behaviour.

If you find that your character is exhibiting these traits, it may be time to reevaluate their development and consider adding some flaws or imperfections to make them more relatable and interesting.

How to Fix a Too-Perfect Character

If you just realized your character is too good to be true, don’t fret. There are several ways to fix that by giving them flaws and imperfections. You don’t have to use all my tips, just pick whatever works for your character.

1. Add Relatable Flaws

This tip is the most obvious one. Give your character flaws that readers can relate to. For example, they might be shy, insecure, or have a bad habit. In J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, Harry is often insecure and afraid of failure. This shapes his actions and reactions to everything.

Think of Hermione Granger from Harry Potter. Although she has many skills and talents and is generally liked by other characters, she is not a Mary Sue. That’s because of all the other layers of her character. She’s often socially awkward and overly sensitive, leading to conflicts with others. Her perfectionism is a positive trait taken to the extreme where it becomes overwhelming and leads to stress and anxiety. Her intelligence and abilities can sometimes lead to overconfidence, blinding her to her limitations. All these flaws and struggles make Hermione a relatable character who is capable of growth and development.

2. Make Bad Decisions

Allow your character to make mistakes and face the consequences of their actions. This will make them more human and relatable.

Hermione’s decision to use the Time-Turner without permission in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was a turning point in her character development. While her intentions were noble, her actions were reckless and dangerous, leading to a series of unintended consequences. She almost got caught by the Ministry of Magic, risked creating a time paradox, and endangered herself and her friends. The experience was emotionally draining and forced her to learn a valuable lesson about the importance of careful planning and considering the consequences of her actions.

3. Struggle with Internal Conflict

Give your character internal conflicts that they must overcome. This will add depth to their personality. In To Kill a Mockingbird, Scout Finch struggles with her prejudices and biases.

4. Exaggerate positive traits

A unique way to add depth to a character is to take a positive trait to the extreme, transforming it into a flaw. By pointing out the negatives of even the best qualities, this technique adds complexity to the character.

Being excessively loyal can backfire when others take advantage of it. An overly generous character may face financial difficulties. A character who is always striving for perfection could become paralyzed by fear of failure.

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