Golden Rules of Reading—Mind Your Manners in the Bookish World
by Anca Antoci
There’s nothing like finding your next great read, curling up with a cup of tea, and losing yourself in the pages of a book. But if you’ve been part of the book community—whether online, at book clubs, or in a local library—you’ve probably witnessed (or experienced) a breach of reader etiquette.
While it never happened to me personally, I’ve seen it often on social media.
I remember someone gushing over a book she loved on Threads, posting a glowing review, only to have someone comment (I’m paraphrasing), “This book was drivel. People who like these kind of books are not readers.” Ouch. Look, I’m all for differing opinions, but there’s a difference between discussing books and steamrolling someone’s enthusiasm.
That moment stuck with me, because at the heart of the book world—whether you’re a casual reader, an avid book blogger, or an author—is a shared love of stories. And yet, like any community, we need to practice good manners to keep things positive and welcoming.
So, let’s talk about the golden rules of reading etiquette, starting with a simple concept: “Don’t yuck my yum.”
1. Don’t Yuck My Yum
If you take away just one thing from this post, let it be this: let people enjoy things.
Book discussions are fun. Debates can be enriching. But barging into someone’s space to declare their favorite book is garbage? That’s just bad manners.
Now, I’m not saying we should all pretend to love every book. But there’s a way to express personal taste without diminishing someone else’s joy. Instead of:
❌ “This book was awful. How could you like it?”
Try:
✅ “I’m glad you enjoyed it! It wasn’t quite for me, but I can see why others love it.”
See the difference? One invites discussion, the other shuts it down.
We all have books we don’t like, and we all have books we adore. Let’s keep the enthusiasm alive by respecting both.
2. Respect Diverse Reading Tastes
The beauty of books is their variety. Some readers love epic fantasy with intricate world-building, others prefer cozy romances set in small towns. Some want lyrical prose that reads like poetry, while others seek fast-paced thrillers that keep them on edge.
And guess what? That’s okay.
No one genre is better than another. No one reading preference is more valid. If you’ve ever felt judged for reading romance, YA, or audiobooks, you know how frustrating book snobbery can be. Let’s not do that to each other.
Instead of:
❌ “Ugh, I can’t take romance novels seriously.”
Try:
✅ “Romance isn’t my go-to genre, but I know it has a huge fan base!”
A little kindness goes a long way in making the book community inclusive for all.
3. Avoid Spoilers
There are few things more frustrating than having a book’s big twist ruined before you even turn the first page.
If you’re going to discuss a book—especially a new release—be mindful of spoilers. Use spoiler warnings in reviews, be vague when discussing major plot points, and when in doubt, ask before revealing details.
Example:
❌ “Oh my gosh, can you believe the main character dies at the end?!”
✅ “That ending took me by surprise! If you’ve read it, let’s discuss (spoilers in comments!).”
Even a simple [SPOILER WARNING] can save a fellow reader from disappointment.
4. Be Mindful When Interacting with Authors
Authors are human. I know—wild concept. But in the age of social media, it’s easy to forget that the person behind the book cover is just that—a person.
If you dislike a book, that’s fine. But tagging an author in a scathing review? That’s unnecessary.
Constructive criticism? Sure. Cruelty? Never.
Also, a little appreciation goes a long way. If you loved a book, let the author know! A kind comment or review can make their day.
5. Borrowing and Lending Etiquette
Ah, the delicate dance of lending books. A few simple rules can save friendships:
📌 If you borrow a book, return it in the condition you received it. No cracked spines, dog-eared pages, or coffee stains.
📌 If you lend a book, accept that it may never come back. If it’s precious to you, maybe don’t lend it out at all.
📌 Never lend a borrowed book. If someone lends you a book, it’s not yours to pass along. You are responsible for it.
Basically—treat borrowed books like treasured guests.
6. Respect Physical Books
Speaking of book care…
Look, I get it. Some people love their books pristine, while others highlight passages, break spines, or scribble in the margins. Your books, your rules.
But library books, borrowed books, or shared books? Those deserve extra care.
Common bookish courtesies:
✔ Use a bookmark instead of dog-earing pages.
✔ Keep food and drinks away from books that aren’t yours.
✔ If you annotate books, make sure they belong to you.
Think of it like a bookish golden rule: treat books as you’d want yours to be treated.
7. Engage in Respectful Book Discussions
Not every book is for everyone, and that’s okay! Differences in opinion make book discussions interesting—as long as they’re respectful.
It’s easy to dismiss someone else’s thoughts, but consider:
❌ “I don’t understand how you could like that book.” (dismissive)
✅ “That’s an interesting take! I saw it differently because...” (engaging)
We don’t have to agree, but we can always be kind.
8. Be Inclusive and Welcoming
The bookish world should be a space for everyone—whether you read a book a day or one a year, whether you love classics or contemporary romance.
Gatekeeping (“real readers only read this kind of book”) has no place here. If someone is excited about reading, they belong. Period.
Instead of:
❌ “You’re not a real reader if you listen to audiobooks.”
Try:
✅ “Audiobooks aren’t my thing, but I know so many people love them!”
The goal? To make the reading world a welcoming, joyful place for everyone.
Final Thoughts
Reading is one of life’s great joys, and sharing that joy with others should be just as fulfilling.
By practicing good bookish manners—respecting tastes, avoiding spoilers, treating books well, and engaging in thoughtful discussions—we create a community where all readers feel valued.
So next time you’re about to jump into a book discussion, remember: be kind, be open, and don’t yuck someone’s yum.